foundChange: Trainings and Retreats - Learn More!
Melissa Perrin
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Individual Treatment
    • Consultation
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Specializing In
    • Mood Disorders
    • Addiction and Recovery
    • Eating Disorders
    • Sex Addiction
    • Life Transitions
  • Blog
  • New Clients
  • foundChange
  • FAQs
  • Contact
  • Search
  • Menu Menu
connection, dating, disconnection, friendship, history, intimacy, love, lovers, patterns, protecting love, sex

Falling in Love: Easy. Staying in Love?

In the most recent post “To Fall in Love,” I wrote about a pathway to falling in love. It includes asking and answering 36 questions with a partner, sitting face to face, then finding a quiet spot and looking into each others eyes for 4 minutes.

Key ingredients: A willing partner, willingness to Listen, willingness to Share, a quiet environment, sitting face to face, authenticity.

When you try this, are you going to fall in love?  It is easy to fall in love.  Harder to Stay in love.  Falling in love, within this context, is actually the decision to open oneself to receive another person.  Opening oneself to show one’s authentic self to another person.  The questions are designed to offer deepening authenticity; designed to offer opportunities to receive a level of truthful communication from another.  These things create the platform on which love and connection can thrive.

We humans crave attainment of a state and hope to live there as if we have scaled a vertical cliff and reached the mesa at the top.  Stasis, however, is not a viable option.  To stay in love requires effort.  It requires us to continue to risk with our partner.  To continue to be willing to be seen clearly, to risk being disappointed, to risk living in intimacy.  This can be a terrifying state of affairs…at the very least, exhausting.

My willingness to continue to ask questions, your willingness to live with my answers when I give them has everything to do with connection and attunement, those experiences that deepen love.  We humans often move in and out of states of awareness with each other and in our day to day worlds.

Loving on Life’s Terms is avoiding tuning out, finding that balance between connection with an Other while living life as it needs to be lived today.

 

January 30, 2015/1 Comment/by Melissa Perrin
Tags: attachment, attunement, living on life's terms, Love, predictability, resume, yearning
Share this entry
  • Share on Facebook
  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on WhatsApp
  • Share on Pinterest
  • Share on LinkedIn
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Share on Vk
  • Share on Reddit
  • Share by Mail
/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Melissa-Perrin-logo.svg 0 0 Melissa Perrin /wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Melissa-Perrin-logo.svg Melissa Perrin2015-01-30 09:03:102021-10-14 22:25:02Falling in Love: Easy. Staying in Love?
You might also like
Clear water over rocks Totga at the Laugh Factory 11/15/15
Clear water over rocks Oh Won’t You Stay With Me?
Clear water over rocks Neighborly behavior
Clear water over rocks Life’s Terms
Clear water over rocks Hovering = Loving?
Clear water over rocks Attraction Versus Résumé
Clear water over rocks 2.19.20 Breadcrumb [Presence]
Clear water over rocks Loving….
1 reply
  1. norasblog
    norasblog says:
    January 30, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    Nice reminder of the ongoing nature of connection. “Willingness to live with my answers” is such an important part.

Comments are closed.

Categories

  • acceptance
  • algorithm
  • attunement
  • Belonging
  • children
  • community
  • connection
  • contraception
  • Covid-19
  • Curiosity
  • dating
  • disconnection
  • disunion
  • friendship
  • history
  • intimacy
  • love
  • lovers
  • Modeling
  • patterns
  • Post Traumatic Stress Resilience
  • protecting love
  • PTSD
  • Resilience
  • safe driving
  • Self-care
  • sex
  • sexual history
  • social distancing
  • Stoicism
  • Strategies
  • Teaching
  • Uncategorized
  • w
  • Wellness
  • wing woman
  • wingman

Recent Posts

  • 2.19.20 Breadcrumb [Presence]
  • The Best Balm for Anxiety? Action
  • Mind the Gap = Mind the Algorithm
  • Wading In…
  • What was it like?

Archives

  • June 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • August 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2017
  • November 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • May 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
Melissa Perrin Logo

Let’s Connect

847-864-8874

2530 Crawford Avenue, Suite 203 Evanston, IL 60201

Contact
© 2021 All rights reserved. | 1 Day Website by Bizzy Bizzy
To Fall in Love…Hovering = Loving?
Scroll to top

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

OKLearn more×

Cookie and Privacy Settings



How we use cookies

We may request cookies to be set on your device. We use cookies to let us know when you visit our websites, how you interact with us, to enrich your user experience, and to customize your relationship with our website.

Click on the different category headings to find out more. You can also change some of your preferences. Note that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our websites and the services we are able to offer.

Essential Website Cookies

These cookies are strictly necessary to provide you with services available through our website and to use some of its features.

Because these cookies are strictly necessary to deliver the website, refusing them will have impact how our site functions. You always can block or delete cookies by changing your browser settings and force blocking all cookies on this website. But this will always prompt you to accept/refuse cookies when revisiting our site.

We fully respect if you want to refuse cookies but to avoid asking you again and again kindly allow us to store a cookie for that. You are free to opt out any time or opt in for other cookies to get a better experience. If you refuse cookies we will remove all set cookies in our domain.

We provide you with a list of stored cookies on your computer in our domain so you can check what we stored. Due to security reasons we are not able to show or modify cookies from other domains. You can check these in your browser security settings.

Other external services

We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps, and external Video providers. Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. Changes will take effect once you reload the page.

Google Webfont Settings:

Google Map Settings:

Google reCaptcha Settings:

Vimeo and Youtube video embeds:

Privacy Policy

You can read about our cookies and privacy settings in detail on our Privacy Policy Page.

Terms and Conditions
Accept settingsHide notification only