To Fall in Love…
Attraction, resume, hook ups, loneliness, the attraction of connection…the hope of connection…
How do I know if s/he is attracted to me?
How do I know if s/he is lying to me?
How does everybody else do this?
We live in a world that speeds along. We have forgotten how to relish building, creating together. Together. We live in a world in which many act first and create later. Falling in love is an act of creation. While there may be attraction, Love the foundational feeling upon which many hope to rely requires the willingness to share, to be intimate, to risk exposing.
Recently I read an article in the New York Times titled:
“To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This” by Mandy Len Catron. http://nyti.ms/1BQibt2
She relates the particulars of Dr. Arthur Aron’s research [self disclosures and other relationship building tasks] and her own experience when trying this out with a colleague she ultimately fell in love with.
Read the article. Read the research.
What does creating a loving relationship require? A partner willing to risk falling in love.
Most of us fear risking unless we know there are grounds for mutual risking. The short answer to the questions listed above are: Listen. Be with that person.
How do you know if he or she is attracted to you? Spend time with that person.
How to fall in love with that person? Ask questions and wait for the answers. Attend to the answers. Don’t have any preconceptions of what you would like to hear. Just listen. Soak the answers in. Answer those same questions with authenticity.
Loving on Life’s Terms is risking, hoping, taking faith walks with another. You can do this.